Friday, January 21, 2011

Thank You

This morning I am starting out on a more serious note. ( Don't worry, those of you who know me , know it's fleeting at best)

      The other night this song by Muse came on the radio, it is title "Undisclosed Desires". I usually flip past it because I am not a huge Muse fan, but this night David was next to me and turned it up. ( I hate it when he uses my radio rules against me" Driver has ultimate control over the radio")
" I like this song, it reminds me of you."
" Umm why?" because all I hear right now is whining and we all know how well I deal with that.
" Just listen to it. It talks about the violence in a woman's heart...."
I don't like where this is going.
" You were a very angry and unhappy woman when I met you.."
Don't go there... don't go there...
"But I saw how beautiful and innocent you were behind it all. The abuses you suffered in your past, and I wanted to fix you. I get to see the real you."
From here on out it gets mushy and some tear are shed. I won't bore you with the details,but that's the gist of it.

The reason I bring this up is that I heard it in the car again this morning and truly listened to the lyrics. I was on the way home from dropping Picky at school. I thought about the words and what David had said to me the other night. My life was very different just 4 years ago, and I have David to thank for that. He found me at the very bottom and has supported me while I have built myself into who I want to be. I was angry,lonely, abused and on the edge of giving up. He became my friend, and listened to me and the things I had to say. He didn't judge me. His intentions when we first met were not as pure as they are now. He had just come from a long term relationship and was using women to fill the void it had left within him. I was using sex to feel loved and wanted, desired if you will. We were two very broken people who came together, and fell in lust. One day things change for the both of us.
I left my husband for him. I knew it was for the best. I had been looking for an escape since the first year of marriage. He has seen me at my best, and held me through my worst and still loved me at the end. He has made me want to be a better person. I love him with every inch of my being. He changed my life in so many beautiful ways, I don't think I will ever be able to thank him enough. I am now a more wholesome, happy version of myself. I have so many more opportunities that I wouldn't have thought possible in the past. I just wanted to take some space on here to thank him, and let him know how much I love him.
Now I have to get the hell off here, I am late for the gym.... damn emotions.
LOVE YA DAVID! Oh... don't forget it's BINGO night for the kids.

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