Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Cooking Substations

I found these floating around the internet today and thought I would pass these on. 

Cooking Substitutions:

Baking Powder (1 t.)
1) 1 t. baking soda plus 1/2 t. cream of tartar.
2) 1/4 t. baking soda plus 1/2 t. cream of tartar.
3) 1/4 t. baking soda plus 1/2 c. buttermilk (to replace 1/2 c. liquid in recipe).

Butter or Margarine (1 cup)
1) 1 1/2 c. margarine or butter powder.
2) 2/3 c. vegetable oil.
3) 1 c. shortening plus 1/2 t. salt
4) 2 sticks softened margarine plus 1/3 c. vegetable oil & 1/2 c. buttermilk. Beat until liquid is absorbed. Refrigerate.

1) 1 T. vinegar (or 1 t. lemon juice or 1 3/4 t. cream of tartar) mixed in 1 c. milk.
2) 1 c. water, 1/3 c. powdered milk, 1 T. vinegar or lemon juice.
3) 1 3/4 c. dry milk in 3 c. slightly warm water (shake or beat until blended). Cover an allow to stand at room temperature until clabbered (6 - 12 hours). Refrigerate.
4) 1 c. water, 1/3 c. powdered milk, 1 T. vinegar or lemon juice. Let mixture stand in a warm place until thickened (18 hours). Stir until smooth. Refrigerate.
5) A buttermilk freeze dried culture can be purchased at a grocery or health food store, and kept indefinitely.

Chocolate (one square)
1) 3 or 4 T. cocoa plus 1/2 T. fat (butter, margarine or shortening).
2) 3 T. cocoa plus 1 T. butter.

Corn Starch (1 T.)
2 T. flour.

Cream (1 cup)
1/3 c. butter plus 2/3 c. milk.

1) Combine 1 t. unflavored gelatin with 3 T. cold water and 2 T. plus 1 t. boiling water.
2) Dissolve 1 tablespoon unflavored gelatin in 1 tablespoon cold water, then add 2 tablespoons boiling water. Beat vigorously until frothy
3) 2 egg yolks plus 1 T. water.
4) 2 T. dehydrated eggs plus 2 1/2 T. water.

Evaporated Milk
1 c. water, 2/3 c. powdered milk

Applesauce (subtract some sugar), or Beans (cooked and mashed).

Flour, White (1 cup)
1) 3/4 c. whole wheat flour.
2) 7/8 c. rice flour.
3) 1 c. corn flour.
4) 1 c. corn meal.
5) 3/4 c. buckwheat.
6) 1/2 c. barley flour.
7) 3/4 c. rye flour.

Green Pepper (1 medium)
1/4 c. dehydrated green pepper.

Half and Half (1 cup)
1) 7/8 c. milk plus 1 T. butter.
2) 1/2 c. coffee creamer and 1/2 c. milk.

Honey (1 c.)
3/4 c. sugar plus 1/4 c. liquid.

Jello (3 oz.)
1 T. plain gelatin plus 2 c. fruit juice.

Ketchup (1/2 c.)
1/2 c. tomato sauce, 2 T. sugar, 1 T. vinegar, 1/8 t. ground cloves.

Milk, Whole (1 cup)
1) 1/2 c. evaporated milk plus 1/2 c. water.
2) 1 c. reconstituted milk plus 2 T. butter.
3) 1 c. water, 1/3 c. powdered milk

Onion (1 medium)
1/4 c. dehydrated onion

Sour Cream (1 cup)
1) 1 c. milk plus 1 1/2 T. vinegar. Let stand until mixture thickens and clabbers.
2) 1 c. plain yogurt.

Sugar (1 cup)
1) 3/4 c. honey (reduce liquid by 1/4 c. or add 1/4 c. flour).
2) 1 c. molasses.
3) 1 1/2 c. carob syrup.
4) 1 1/4 c. malt syrup.
5) Corn syrup (reduce liquid). 6) Brown sugar.

Sugar, Brown
Sugar & Molasses.

Sugar, Powdered (1 cup)
1 c. sugar and 1/2 t. cornstarch. Blend in blender until powdered.

Sweetened Condensed Milk
1) 1 1/2 c. powdered milk, 3/4 c. sugar, 1/2 c. hot tap water. Place hot water in blender. With blender going, add sugar and dry milk, blend until smooth.
2) 1 c. hot water, 4 c. powdered milk, 2 c. sugar, 1/4 c. butter. Blend in blender. Can be refrigerated or frozen.
3) 1/2 c. hot water, 1 c. powdered milk, 1 c. sugar. Blend in blender. Can be refrigerated or frozen.

Tapioca (2 t.)
1 T. flour.

Tomatoes, Canned (1 cup)
1 1/3 cups cut up fresh tomatoes, simmered 10 minutes.

Tomato Juice (1 c.)
1/2 c. tomato sauce, 1/2 c. water

Whipped Topping
1) 6 T. powdered milk, 1 c. boiling water, 2 t. unflavored gelatin, 2 T. cold water, 2-4 T. sugar, 1 t. vanilla. Dissolve the milk in the cup of water and scald (boil until milk forms a skin on top). Soak the gelatin in cold water. Combine the scalded milk, dissolved gelatin and sugar. Stir and chill in the refrigerator until it jells. Then beat the mixture until it acquires the consistency of whipped cream. Add the vanilla and whip again.
2) 1 c. water, 2/3 c. powdered milk. Chill. Add 1/2 t. lemon juice. Whip. Fold in 1 T. sugar to taste.

1) Use apple or grape juice minus some sugar.
2) Use broth and lessen the salt.

Yeast (1 package)
1 T. yeast.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Meal Planning Monday

I am pretty terrible lately about meal planning and around 6pm doing this:

" David.. what are we going to do for dinner?"
" I don't know. What would you like to do?"
"If I knew I wouldn't have asked you, and dinner would be done by now."
"Babe, what are you in the mood for?"
" You know, the usual, wings, mexican or sushi.Kids what do?"
Gross. And the floor of my garage is littered with pizza boxes waiting for the recycle bin.
So here is a stab at becoming more organized, and eating less fatty shit. I might make this a blog hop one day.

Meal Plan for the Week of 4/16

Monday: Grilled Mac and Cheese Sandwiches sandwiches and corn on the cob.

Tuesday:  Lunch: Avocado egg salad
                        Dinner: Roasted pork loin with sauteed mushrooms and steamed (or raw, depending on which kid hates which)

Wednesday: Hot ham and fresh mozzarella sandwiches and croc-pot  baked potato soup.

Thursday: The busiest day here Broiled gnocchi and marinara with ricotta  , kids choice veggie.

Friday: Spicy cheesy grits with Shrimp and a side salad.

I will post recipes later in the week. 

Happy Monday Y'all!

Grilled Macaroni and Cheese

*I apologize in advance for the crappy cell phone pics, hubby took my camera to work.

Here was my pinspiration :

But there was no recipe for it from the original pin. So I made one up. And it is an *almost homemade, aka a Soccer mom cheat. It goes a little something like this:

Sliced bread
Butter or Margarine 
Ready made Mac and Cheese
 ( I used Country Crock, it is near the meats in my grocery store)
Shredded Cheddar and Mozzarella

Take out two slices of bread for each sandwich and spread butter on one side of each  piece.

Microwave the macaroni for 2 minuets and put in a large bowl.

Add 1/2 half cup of each cheese.

Mix well. 

Using an ice-cream scoop, spoon on to bread.

Top with a slice of bread. Cook over medium heat for 3 minutes each side. Enjoy!



Our Trip to Connecticut 4/12/12

Spring break was last week, and after a hectic MONTH of David's business, we decided we needed a break. So we planned a trip to see his Dad in Connecticut. We were going to go the weekend before, but it made more sense because of work and the weather. Either way we had a great time. We spent the time unplugged(ish) playing board games with the kids, eating at fantastic restaurants, and going to Mystic Seaport. We has some funny moments, as you will see in the pictures, overall it was a great time and we were sad to go. I can't wait to visit. Next time I doubt David will let me drive over the George Washington Bridge in NYC, since our detour through the Bronx and our incident involving a suspicious person.

Allie said " It feels like a bird pooped on me or something."
Good guess.

Maybe they should have made this of a bird.

Surveying the Long Island Sound.

Doodle picking up seashells, and then a piece of a dead crab.


A fucking beautiful group of people. 

Hello! Bring these to VA please!

So sleepy

Crazy kids


Learning about music of sea folk

He likes to clean

After a day at Mystic Seaport.

Happy kids

Roasting marshmallows after a cookout

Smores WOOT.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Packing for a Trip: Big Family Edition

There will never be a "Little" or "Normal" size family edition, I figure you people can handle packing for 2.5 kids well enough. Even if you can't just follow along and do it for 2 less children, and you'll be fine. As you know I have OCD and I do ALL of the cleaning,packing and unpacking myself because I have a ritual and will snap if my husband doesn't pack his bag: Pants, Shirts, Underwear, Socks.

Here are a few helpful tips:

  • Start cleaning your house top to bottom 3-4 days before your trip. It depends on a few things eg; how big your house is, how messy your house is and how many fucks you give it is clean when you come back home. I, myself like to come home and be ahead of the game so I have a day to dedicate to unpacking.

  • 2 days before do all of the laundry. When I know we have a trip coming up I usually save all my laundry for this day. Once it is dried I fold and pack it. I do this for my husband and children's bags.

  • Know how many days you might go? Pack 2 extra sets of clothes.Why? Because in an perfcawsome ( BLAM! I just coined a word bitch!) world you would need these to stay extra time at your destination. However in the real world you will need those extra clothes because Child 4 has had an explosive Phillips induced poop on you and Child 2&3 have hurled their expensive lobster mac (from Legal Test Kitchen in Boston.. it was fantasmo btw , Holla ) on your nice (in a relative sense, only because it is black, otherwise it is a jersey-knit from Target.) dress. 
  • Likewise for the kids. See above.
  • I pack outfits. For the kids I stack them in outfit fashion so it is easier for them to grab. It goes: Pants,Shirt,Underwear,Socks. Then it repeats, showing a break between outfits thanks to the socks and underwear. For Husband and Me I pack by item.. again Pants,Shirts,Sweaters,Underwear, and Socks. 
  • Accessories go in plastic ziplock bags on the top. Shoes go on the bottom , so they won't soil any clothing. You could wrap those in plastic for extra protection.
  • Pack a bag filled with a shit ton of snacks.. your kids will eat them all and still be hungry, but this prolongs the inevitability of stopping at a shitty grease covered fast food joint. Also pack a few bags for trash, they will fill them, and still leave trash on the floor. 

  • One day before you leave get together your bags, sleeping bags, blankets,pillows, a bag filled with activities for kids in the car ( I will do a separate blog on this the next time I travel) pack and play, camera and anything else non essential for the next morning, Think booster seat for the table, toys, ect. and pack them into the car. 

  •   Set out an outfit for everyone and lay it in a place where they will see it and know to put it on.
  • Try to shower and bathe everyone and mommies? Try to straighten your hair the night before so you can pack the flat iron with the toiletries in the morning.
  • The morning of pack a separate bag filled with toiletries and makeup after you have used them. Take sandwich bags and package up everyone's toothbrush separately after they have used them. Otherwise its like making out with the whole family and that's nasty.  
  • Before you leave the driveway to at least 2 headcounts. Other wise you will end up in jail because one of your kids pulled a Kevin McAllisteir on you... or like my mom, get a mile away and remember you left the baby sleeping in his carseat by the front door.
Happy Travels to y'all, and if I have any other travel tips because of my fuck ups I will write another post and if you have any tips I am all ears!

What I'm Loving Wednesday.

Hey Y'all its What I'm Loving Wednesday!

Here is what I am loving this week.

1. Cadburry Mini Eggs: Because they are freaking yummy!

2. Pinterest: because it's online hoarding minus the cat poop.

3.My kids: because it is spring break and besides me screaming about keeping the house clean, we are trying to enjoy each other.

4. My husband: I found this picture and well...

5. The Gym: I am finally trying to give my fat ass a run for its money.

( yeah.. this is me working out.)

linkup here:with Jamie

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Recipe: Cowboy Quiche

Cowboy Quiche   


Ready made pie shell
Thick cut bacon
  6 large eggs
2 cups heavy cream or milk
1/2 cup shredded monterrey jack cheese 
1 1/2 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
1 small can diced green chilies
salt,pepper,ground nutmeg, dill ,and onion powder

Preheat the oven to  375 f

Cook bacon , drain, chop, set aside.

Wisk together 5 eggs, cream or milk, salt, pepper, nutmeg,dill and onion powder to taste.

In the pie shell add cheeses, bacon , chilies. Pour egg mixture over it.

Take the last egg and wisk, brush over pie crust.

Bake for 30-40 minuets, the top should be golden brown.
Wait 10 minutes before slicing.

A New Direction for the Blog

Hey Y'all! I am trying to get back in the swing of things here on my blog. I am thinking of using Pinterest to up my viewership, but in order to lure unsuspecting readers in to my web of craziness I need to write less about "My kids are whiny , ill-behaved brats and my husband thinks I'm crazy.. and I really am crazy , thanks to OCD and I work so hard...whaaaa!" and more like " This is a recipe for a fantorgasmic roast chicken I made." and " Look at my ahhmazing crafts I made."  I will still post about things lie " The day I was arrested because I am an unorganized hack." but I am also going to have things like " How I reformed my unorganized so there is no repeat offences." I am going to write about recipes I make up (because I am a rebel and refuse to actually use a recipe for anything but baking, I come up with my own) , crafts I have done from pinterest and links to tutorials from REAL crafty people, my adventures in homekeeping and decorating my home, as well as the many misadventures of our clan. I hope y'all enjoy it more than you do now.

Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease,

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

A Blessing in Disguise

Shit has been gettin' CRAY-ZAY here. My husband took on a new client a few months ago, we thought the volume was going to be heavy, so I started looking for a party time nanny. I even found a good match for our family, but then things didn't change enough to justify it. One day our landlord called and offered the house for us to buy, we jumped at the chance for a few reasons:

  1. We want to be homeowners (Husband wants to be a homeowner for the sake of building wealth and some other reasons.. but when he goes on I hear the teacher from Charlie Brown. I am scared shitless... when the toilet floods again... or a sinkhole swallows up our car... we are in charge!)
  2. We love our neighbors. ( I love a few.. but most are old as hell and or weird. Think Kevin Spacey from American Beauty. Husband hardly leaves the house so how would he know about our neighbors he "Doesn't want to loose.")
  3. We love our neighborhood. (For the most part this is true, the homes are nice, there is green grass and , children playing in the street.. because their parents don't watch Investigation Discovery or any Nightline, 20/20, obviously. The amenities are nice, but most are super religious, right-wing hacks who you can hardly talk about the weather with because the news is even biased about that!)
  4. The kids are settled in school. 
  5. We are settled (which.. is killing me S-L-O-W-L-Y inside.)
  6. We like our house.( READ: not LUURRVVVEE it, which in essence means we are busy business owner/operators with four small children, 3 fully packed stories and a 2 car garage full of shit I don't want to sort/donate/clean/pack in a matter of weeks.)
First we were all like " ACK!!!! We need to come up with MON-AY STAT!"  So were were saving and being thrifty like everyone does in this situation. One day 2 weeks ago there was a hail storm in the south and western parts of our state.  Then the work started pouring in... and it has been steady. Which means Husband is working 20 hour days and the kids and house have fallen (almost... because he is a good husband) completely on me. I have been tense but surviving, until last night. Princess was at the side of my bed at 330am after I had only been asleep for 2 hours, crying to sleep with me (second night in a row) and then she hacked for another hour until I couldn't take it anymore and called David to move her back. Once he moved her she started crying again, he got pissy and then I got pissy  and he stomped  down the stairs , thus waking up baby. Who by the way is my most trying child I have ever raised. I couldn't take it anymore , so I turned my fan up, put a pillow over my head and cried it out. This alone doesn't sound so bad but couple this with my hectic weekend alone with 3 hours of sleep and it is a recipe for a cranky mommy who tells her husband "Don't be surprised when I walk out on all of this shit." at 330am.

Alas, all of this work my husband is doing has covered out monthly expenses and given us the money we need to pay for this fucking house. I guess you have to take the good with the bad, like last night.. horrible night with the kids... good sex dreams including John Hamm.