" Hey! I don't want you to freak out... but Doodle had an accident."
"Umm.. ok...?" (what the fuck!?!?! )
" He fell...."
"Down the stairs."
"Ok..." (Really? Again? Oh God his arm or leg is broken and now there is bone poking through his skin and blood ... man this kitchen floor needs to be mopped this morning. What hasn't David told me yet?)
" He is okay, but he needs to go to the hospital. Don't get upset and scream, I finally got him calmed down."
"Okay...." I go down the hall and enter the kitchen, where I see my beautiful baby boy with a fucking HOLE in his beautiful , once unmarred skull.
" Hey buddy are you O.K?"
He shook his head, okay, there isn't any brain matter (that I can see.) Breathe! I tried to stay calm, because freaking out is going to freak him out and if he freaks out his blood pressure will go up , therefore making the open wound in his head gush instead of drip blood. HOLY FUCK it looks gross! I guess moping is out of the question this morning.
"I can't look at this David. We need to cover it or I am going to pass out."
"Find a gauze."
I find one and have David apply it , I avoid looking at it. I start getting ready to go, I grab the necessary cards and my purse.
"I'm going to get the baby up and go with you, so one of us can hold the bandage on him while the other drives."
"Thats fine. Doodle what do you want to bring to the doctors? "
"Lovie and my pink Barbie."
I go upstairs and search for this weird yellow crusty, half bear half blanket my grannny bought for him when he was born. I look everywhere in the room and can't find the damn thing. UGH! Seriously?? One of the things my wounded baby wants is missing! What kind of mother am I? I grab his frog stuffed animal and the pink Barbie and rush down to help him put on his shoes. I tell him to stand by the door, and I go to the kitchen and down a glass of wine, I need some liquid courage. Then I hear the door open and look down the hall just in time to see Doodle get hit in the head by the door! I am now convinced he is going to die by the end of this day.
We get in the car and David drops me off by the front door, I tell him to find a sitter for Dex.
"Try C and if we can't get C call T. Her cell number is in my cell, which is in the other car."
"Got it. Good Luck buddy, the doctors are going to take care of you. I will be back soon to help you."
I go the the desk and check Doodle in. On the paperwork they ask me "Reason for visit: Hole in my sons head." I sit down next to him in a chair , but I have to turn away so he can't see the silent tears running down my face. I am so worried, I don't think it is a life threatening thing, but I am worried about a head trauma. (Yes, I have been told by friends and family to STOP watching Grey's Anatomy) I am a mom, and anytime my kids are hurt, I hurt, because there are somethings I can't fix or take away from them. I am also crying because I am glad that it wasn't worse. When he fell he hit his forehead on the pin part of the hinge from the front door.
So while it poked a hole in his skin, it missed his eye, which it would have gone though had it been 3 inches down.
They take us back to a room, where he lays in bed for an hour watching cartoons. They come in and out checking on him, the Doctor tells me hit is nasty but he will need 2 stitches. He leaves and the wine on my empty stomach combined with the thought of them piercing my sons flesh with a needle is enough to send me to the bathroom to hurl. AWESOME! I smell like booze/barf and my son is in here for an accident. God I hope they can't smell me otherwise they will call CPS ! Thankfully they waited until David got back to the hospital to start sewing him up. He was so good the entire wait. He even let them wrap him like a burrito so his hands wouldn't be free to grab them. I consider leaving the room, but I can't .. I have a morbid curiosity, what can I say? They numbed him up and he squirmed with discomfort but he didn't yell or scream (which I am thankful and surprised with.) It's done in no time, they give us our discharge information and we are on our way. We ask him what he wants for a special lunch, he says "SUSHI! and Cake." We oblige. I ended up crying in the restaurant, thinking " This wasn't that serious, but who knows what the future holds?How am I supposed to let four humans go into the world?" Ugh Elizabeth Stone said it best "Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." I am not holding out hope that it is going to get easier.
* Thanks so much T for watching Baby. You were a life saver. It means so much to me that you were there for us today.