Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Krista is an Idiot

 A few weeks ago we were on our way to my dad's house to help ( this story was over shadowed by the porn story. Which was so horrifying I nearly forgot this gem.). Dad needed David to help cut down some trees. and move the taxidermied bear. As per usual we were running late( David is going to be late to his own funeral, I swear!). We are cruising down the the road , chatting, having a light hearted conversation when we pass a place along the way that does taxidermy.  David started talking about unorthodox taxidermy. It was something Dr. Seuss was into as a hobby. ( learned this tidbit at the ICE show at the Gaylord.)
 

This is what it looks like:



The thing with unorthodox taxidermy is..... basically using real parts of animals and making a new one or mismatching pieces .... think Jackalope 



Anyways, we were talking about this when I looked over at him and asked a serious question.

" Do you think anyone has ever taxidermied a baby?"
 I already know how weird it sounds once spoken out loud...
He looks over at me and recoils in horror.
"WHAT KIND OF SICK SHIT IS THAT!!!!Krista thats fucked up... Oh My God thats so disturbing!!"

"NO, No , No. Not like killing a baby in the wild and then taxiderming it.... like you know how some people taxidermy beloved pets when they die? Kinda like that... you know if the baby dies.. and someone is grieving and doesn't want to bury it. Like that." ( God forbid anything happen to my kids.. but if it did...maybe?)

He still looks unconvinced "Like have it laying in the crib or sit it in a swing?"

" EXACTLY!! "

He asked "Who would DO THAT??"

" I don't know but maybe there is a market for that?" ( there are grieving parents right?)

He looks back over at me and throws his head back and starts roaring with laughter .

" WHAT?"

" What if someone did unorthodox taxidermy to a baby... like putting man size teeth in it's head... grinning , like that commercial where those old people put in the wrong dentures..."

"OMG DAVID!!! NOW WHO IS THE SICK FUCK!!!!"

As wrong and disturbing the whole exchange is, for some reason we can help laughing until we cry.
Yes... this is typical of the both of us ... somehow people still like us.

*I understand that dead babies are no laughing matter, it's actually quite sad. But trying to make things silly is how we deal with the uncomfortable things in life.

1 comment:

  1. I still like you guys. And David's "grown up teeth" idea is going to give me nightmares.

    ReplyDelete