Ice day part3? This is not what I was expecting this morning when I rolled over and nudged (kicked hard...again tomato , tamatoh) my one true love.
" David! WHAT TIME IS IT?"
"OH my God! The bus will be here in like 25 min. Can you get them fed?"
Ok it sounds like I am being lazy here, but I am legit. About 2 minuets ago Baby woke up. He has perfect timing. Not that I am complaining, my bed is so snuggly and warm and baby is so cute. PLUS I get an extra 15 minuets to sleep in. I however feel slightly bad that David has had roughly 2 hours sleep, but at this moment I am indisposed . It takes a few more gentle nudges ( hard shakes and a few "HEY DAVID"'s ) and he is up and taking care of business.
Ahhhh! Now where was I.... oh yes... getting a back rub with no strings attached from Ryan Gosling... hmmm ... eyes shutting....zzzzzzzzz........
"KRISTA! ARE YOU UP???"
DAMIT! Thanks for using my methods against me. Ok, now where was I?......oh yeah Ryan... Me.... Oil...zzzzz........
"Honey, I need you" Oh yes Ryan I need you too....
"HONEY! I NEED YOU!"
For fucks sake David! Have you no respect for all that is RYAN!
"Ok! I am up! What do you need?"
" I"ll tell you when you get down here."
UH OH! This is NEVER a good sign.
" Can't you tell me NOW?"
" Just wait till you are down here."
Sigh, I know it's not good.. so just fucking tell me!
"Ok Honey! I'm coming down now."
At the bottom of the stairs I find the bathroom rug , and Doodle in a witch dress sitting on the toilet..... Do I even want to know?
" Why is the rug in the hall?"
" I was doing damage control, it would have been much worse had I not."
" What the hell happened and why are you so flustered?"
" I needed you get you down here because I didn't know what to do...."
UMM? WHAT THE HELL? This must be really bad.. the older kids are sitting quietly eating their breakfasts looking up at me.
"What's going on?"
David takes a deep breath to steady his nerves... " Doodle stood up in his chair...'
Ok thats not too bad....
"Lifted his dress up, and wasn't wearing any underwear...."
Ok a little bizarre but really? This is Doodle we are talking about...
" And he started pissing on the carpet."
"NO IT ISN'T! What am I supposed to do?"
" Get paper towels, the eco friendly spray, and a plastic bag and make him clean it up."
Now it's time for my chocolate shredded wheats.... fiber never tasted so good.
"MOM! We are going to miss the bus."
" How about I drive you guys in today?" I am not about to abandon this bowl of nummy goodness.
"YAY!!" And there was much rejoicing.
After I finished I send everyone outside to get in the van. Princess slipped on the steps... hmmm thats weird.
I de-ice my car and we are on our way. As I get closer.... there aren't as many cars on the road..... and there are no cars in the parking lot. WHAT THE HELL! Oh maybe it's a 2 hour delay (positive thinking.. and David says I am a pessimist... I'll show him hmph) I drive to the nearby high school just to confirm my suspicions.... No...no... this can't be! This is no good! This lot is empty too! WHAAAHHH!
I take the kids home and run to David...
"School is canceled!"
"NO!WHY?LET ME LOOK!"
YUP! There it is in black and white... SCHOOL CLOSED.
David and I embrace, to try and comfort each other, knowing it's a long day ahead.
"Oh wait! I have a 2 hour block at the gym for Baby. I will just take them with me!"
Genius. The rest of my day is pole dancing(for fitness of course) , lounging the rest of the time at the gym, lunch with my love (after a budget discussion oh and about what a negative Nancy I am ) and nap time. I got to snuggle with Doodle , I am thankful he didn't pee on me. All and all it wasn't so bad. Next snow/ice/cancel school because we can day... I know just to keep them busy until nap time and we are squared away.