There's a Liberty Bell Sized Crack on my Wedding Bells

  I have't been in much of a bloggy mood.Things have been really stressful/ hectic. Soccer season is in full swing now and I have two kids going in two different directions. I have been trying to maintain my gym schedule in between games and practices. David and I have been feeling the pressures of the wedding, especially the budget.  It has been the underlying source of our fights recently. We are both afraid to take the plunge, for many reasons. Our parents divorce, the painful break up with his last fiancée, and my divorce. All those tragic event have left their scars and there is no tube of Mederma that is big enough to erase them.
  
    Monday night we got into a huge fight. There was lots of yelling and screaming after a day of sulking and stewing. He decided to call off the wedding, and it enraged me to the point of violence. We have decided to stay together and raise the kids. We are good friends, and loving parents, we want whats best for the kids. I really appreciate the fact that we agree on doing this together. He is a good man and a great dad. I am dealing with this, what are my options. I am in a lot of pain but I am working of forgiving his, as he has forgiven me. It is what it is. I still love him and he loves me and I am thankful for whatever time we have together. During this time I am looking into working part time and possibly going to school. I am going to keep blogging because I love you guys :) Don't be sad for me, because I am okay.